I've just come back to work from a lovely week off, plus bank holidays, where the park took on a new guise - a place for me and my boys to play and eat ice lollies and meet friends, and bike ride and run and have a blissful time together. During which a change occurred that I only registered on my way to work yesterday...slightly dragging my feet, quietly trying to build myself back up and re-enter real life with a smile.
So to my complete joy I was lifted by the Spring appearance of this my favourite tree and its guest, which has gloriously revealed itself as an amazingly tangled and currently flowering Wisteria.
I am so enamoured by this discovery that it makes me smile just writing about it. On my way home last night I took a detour just to try and get a snap of it on my phone to add to this post.
What I love most about this discovery of a life cycle is that nothing really has changed, but wow, what a beautiful fanfare this tangled intrusive old thing is giving us as it blooms briefly before settling back into quiet anonymity for the rest of the year.
Being me, I'm finding something personal in that.
I've been talking a lot on my time off about how amazing the age of 4 has been for my little man. How healthy and strong and developmentally spot on he is right now and how utterly grateful and priveleged I am for him and us about that.
I'm finally off red alert, happily sitting on greeny amber. My sister always said that I should look ahead to this time that she hoped would come, and be aware and ready to catch myself if my head and health started to slide a bit.
She was right, as always, because ironically I feel more worn out and down and old and tired than I remember feeling ever. Lots of things feel like an effort.
Lovely Happy Sara is stretched very thin and possibly doesn't appear in the right places enough.
It's harder to motivate myself and detach emotionally from the niggles and the wrangles of those around me.
It's harder to eat well and sleep well and think about exercise and drawing and writing and the things that are good for me and that I like to do.
It's harder to be as loving in person to the wonderful man I share my life with as I am in my own quiet space.
And that's the hardest thing of all.
So these purple flowers are helping me to embrace the scent and brightness of all that's around me. I hope to bring that home with me a little more than I have.
Oh and to my new followers, and all the old ones. Hello and thanks so much for joining me. I'm ridiculously childishly excited to see you here and I promise to try and visit you all here a little more often.
Wish a Happy Flowery Purply Spring to us all
xx
