Sunday, 22 June 2014

What's in a name

I appeared on the website of an amazing children's charity the other week, an organisation I am delighted to have met while working on the floor beneath them for the last year in Soho.

As you will notice when you click onto the link at the bottom, I appear in my full and fake double barrelled glory, a mark of it being a true mix of Sara at work and Sara the mum.  This joining of my maiden and married names only really occurs on my email and in happy memories of conversations with my friends at University, laughing at what would happen should I, Sara Johnson, end up marrying my then new boyfriend Daniel Jackson.

15 years on from our wedding, and really, honestly, I have thought many times about changing my name for good.  I resisted at the start as I was still establishing myself in my career and we married only a few years into that career path.  Also I felt a great deal of pride in giving my family the nachas of their little girl appearing in interviews or in credits on screen.

In changing my passport, bank account and everything outside of work to my married name, it allowed us both to be lighthearted whenever Dan said "who is Sara Johnson?" as the credits rolled.  So the delineation of the names was very clear for at least a decade:

TV Exec, BAFTA membership card and most of the interviews or press = Johnson.
School, medical, mum and latterly blogger, children's story writer and home = Jackson.

As I get older and my role as media representative for Ch 18 Europe grows, I am bringing the two sides of me together in my life, mind and ambitions and there is a blurring of the borders.  As this occurs I can't help but feel increasingly schizophrenic, insisting as I am on this nominal separation.  Even the shows I am working on in TV land bring the mum into the room far more than I have ever allowed to happen before.

There is a whiff of a shift in intent and purpose around me right now and this post says a lot because all I intended was to highlight the link to the interview without much fanfare.

I suppose what it shows is that I am admitting to have noticed the mix of all the me's in my peripheral vision.  All the Sara's, the TV exec and the charity advocate and the mum and the woman are slowly merging and it's not as scary as I once thought it might be.

How that might grow or what comes next who knows, but until then, please click on this link and have a look at the gorgeous charity that does so much wonderful work above Sara Johnson's head every day.

Daytrippers Five Minutes

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