Pre-Weekend Thoughts

It's been an interesting week.

I've been a bit fractious, a bit happy, a bit stressed and a bit calm and right now I feel pretty good.

I'm proud that me and D chose to air grievances and sticky things over dinner and manage to get it all said, discussed and end up giggling by the end of the evening.

I'm glad that on Friday I have chosen to take the day off and wind my way in a relaxed fashion to the 10th Annual Girl's Weekend.

I'm glad that I finally decided to buy myself a digital SLR camera as a present and reward for working hard and trying to be all that I can be.

I'm very grateful for some kindness and wisdom found at work this week. I know how lucky I am to have my job and be able to work as I do while my little man is well enough and "typical" enough to cope without me. I want to embrace this while I can.

I've also been doing lots of deep breathing and trying to look inside myself and limit any damage that the stresses of my life might be causing. I am looking forward to getting better at this.

And I had an amazing session with N where I made a comment that was so visual and clear that I said I wished I could draw it. So out came the paper and chalks and that's just what I did. It felt amazing. I can't wait to talk more next week about whatever it is I drew there.

I have been thinking too this week about my virtual life and my real life and how to marry the two, the differences in them and how I present myself. It comes off the back of comments from one of my 18p- buddies and has really set me thinking.

Many of us feel the same confused gratitude for these strangers online who play such a huge role in our lives. But when the promise of a 3D intervention occurs, like the upcoming conferences, or photographs on facebook and blogs like this that look deeper in, it does take a while to level it all out.

Living a virtual life in place of your own is not healthy. Humans are meant to interact, hug, look, see and love. But for me, here on this blog and more so with the 18p- listserve, I am aware of the boundaries that being on email crosses. Race, class, education, income, culture, geography, religion, politics. On there some of that skims by but none of it matters.
Not one bit.
And that's an amazing thing.